Politeness matters in negotiation. At Merindol Negotiation we often use Napoleon’s phrase “an iron fist in a velvet glove”. You can stand firm on the issues that matter to you, while still treating the other side with courtesy and kindness.
I recently had to negotiate a refund from a well-known low-cost airline (naming no names but you can guess). The rudeness of some of the emails I received was startling, and achieved nothing except for making me never want to do business with them again.
There is often a mistaken belief that a good negotiator should behave in a tough, dominant, and uncompromising manner. In most cases, we would argue the opposite. Why make the other side dislike you? The best negotiators know how to present their proposals confidently and assertively, while remaining calm and respectful. Politeness is free – maybe we should all try to use it more?
